Tom: How was your day?
Twin No. 1: Mommy took a nap today. For like more than an hour.
Tom: Oh, re-e-e-eally?
It doesn't matter if your husband snores like a banshee and you've been awakened every few hours to redose a kid with tylenol and then get woken at 5:45 a.m. when your daughter has a nosebleed. It just sounds bad when your kid rats you out to your husband. (Although it wasn't as embarrassing as the time Elvis announced to his grandfather, "Mommy is wearing a black bra." Note to self: close door ALL THE WAY SHUT when dressing.)
On the other hand, this morning at the bus stop I was asked for too much information. The daughter of neighbors, age 7, said, "I wonder how babies get out of their mothers' tummies." I made a noncommittal noise, hoping she'd be distracted, when she asked me point-blank. A thousand thoughts rush through my mind: Don't lie, it's a perfectly normal question, don't push the kid into a shame spiral, MUST NOT TELL NEIGHBORS' KIDS FACTS OF LIFE OR I WILL BE ARRESTED. For once, I blessed my two C-sections, saying, "Well, it depends on the mommy and the baby. When I had the twins, the doctor
After several days of sick kids, I nearly kissed the bus driver. I'm really looking forward to a day of catching up -- with no nosy questions and nobody except the bunny to tell all my secrets.
Unlike my kids, the bunny can easily be bribed with carrots.
10 comments:
Oh my, it's one thing when your own kids ask stuff like that at awkward times, it's a whole other ballgame when it isn't your kid.
I think I'd just say something both affirming and evasive like, "That's a great question. It's also the kind of thing that moms and dads prefer to handle with their own kids. I bet your parents will talk about it with you if you ask them."
Of course, I often remind my boys that delivering each of them was like pooping out a bowling ball. You know, just to make them appreciate me more.
One of these days I'll have to google "how babies get out" and see what I come up with. I guess it wouldn't hurt to finally find out.
Glad the kids are mended and out of your hair.
Why, Joseph, you can simply ask Kathy to crochet you this:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19430060
Then all will become clear.
My daughter asked me the same thing right before bedtime last weekend. I was so stunned that I punted it for discussion another day. She hasn't brought it up again. Yet. Or maybe she's been fed misinformation at school and thinks she knows the answer now. Yikes.
Ahhh...now I understand...you first drag that girl from "The Ring" up from the well and give her a laxative? But that's the hairiest bowling ball I've ever seen!
No wonder gay boys are so terrified of having children.
Wow Carol you are really lazy - first taking that nap, and then giving a non-detailed answer when someone else's kid asks you about the facts of life.
I'm guessing that you are eating bonbons with your feet up while reading these comments ...
See- the goats don't ask the tough questions either (and would never rat you out). There was the time my 8 year old daughter got off the bus and asked me what an orgasm was. Yup, that got the 24 hour punt...
ROTFLMAO!
thank dog I don't have kids!
My daughter asked how the babies get inside the tummy in a lift crowded with neighbours and their kids. This was after her little sister had been playing her game of loudly identify the pregnant lady...
I think that you handled it well.
Once at McDonald's, into one of those silences that sometimes happen in public places, my son said, thinking hard, "So, Mommy: when I was born, I came out of your vagina?"
We were walking out at the time; I tried to look as though I had no idea who he was.
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