Monday, December 17, 2007

The deception is killing me....

I would be the worst secret agent in the world, and don't expect any help from me if you're interested in adultery, illegal conspiracy or embezzlement. I am just no good at deception. I have one of those faces that shows every emotion as I experience them. Even the most emotionally inept of my acquaintances has no trouble telling how I really feel about things.

Which is why this time of year kills me.

If I buy a really cool present for someone, I want to give it to them right away. In fact, it's completely typical for me to give Tom at least one present sometime in December, before Christmas Eve. And when it comes to the kids, I spend the last few days before Christmas in a torment, terrified that my secret hiding places will be revealed, or that a particularly astute almost-ten-year-old will ask a penetrating question pointing out a logical inconsistency about Santa Claus, or that I will inadvertently give away the existence of a special present through an ill-timed slip of the tongue.

This week will be the worst, as preparations reach fever pitch and as I pick up two relatively large presents that Santa has asked me to keep on site until the big day. (Thank God our garage is so messy that large bundles covered in painter's dropcloths are likely to go unnoticed amidst the chaos.)

In the meantime, there's been some sort of computer snafu chez GKIYH and I'm without a printer and without access to the main computer that we use (i.e. the one with all the files and storage on it, and the one that runs our wireless internet access). I'm hoping we can figure out a way to fix this soon -- but in the meantime, please excuse any temporary service outages as we fiddle with our fried motherboard (or do I mean "mutha-board"?.

11 comments:

Adelle said...

I am SO bad at keeping the secret when I buy someone something I know they will like. My sister knows about her camera and has known since the minute I bought it! I am hoping that since I only have 1 week left that I won't tell my parents about their Guitar Hero!

SandyK said...

I used to hide stuff under the kids' own beds. They never did catch on until I told them a couple years ago. They're all in their 30's and 40's now.

Bridget said...

Feel free to give me my present anytime - I'd hate for you to be driven crazy by it ... :-)

anne marie in philly said...

breathe deeply many many times this week.

hope the GKIYH household has a very merry xmas!

Sarah said...

My husband can hardly stand it, either. The only good thing about our kids not coming around is that it keeps him from being able to tell and give them their presents now. It's not so much that I mind them having the gifts early, but I know that they would not be back to see us for Christmas, and that would suck a bunch. My husband is also equally unable to stand knowing that there are surprises waiting for him. He has already gotten into most of his Christmas presents, and would like me to have mine now, too.

Joe said...

Just goes to prove the QueerJoe theory:

Theory 73: Kids ruin everything.

I don't know how you breeders do it. Carol, you're a better man than I.

Samina said...

My mother used to store our Christmas presents at the neighbor's house. Truly diabolical, wouldn't you say?

Kathy Merrick said...

Well, you could do what The Mammy did for my Charlotte when she was about seven or so.
Just before Christmas, she asked Char, "So, does
Christmas feel any different for you now that you know there's no Santa?"

Actually, the idea that there might not be a Santa hadn't yet occurred to Charlotte.

Phoe said...

I'm exactly the same way. I keep handing my husband presents and poking him to open them. Granted I come by it honestly, my mother doesn't bother waiting for Christmas at all. :)

Sunflowerfairy said...

Yer talking to a girl who celebrated Christmas with her live in boyfriend (now husband) on the day after Thanksgiving one year. People who found out still laugh at us every year around this time.

I'm awful at not giving presents away early!!

Rana said...

It could be worse - you're still trying to preserve the surprise.

This year I was shopping with my parents, and when they noticed something they liked, I asked if they'd like it for Christmas, and - boom - there's their presents.

(There are a _few_ little silly things that will still be a surprise.)