"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." -- George Carlin
I remember my brother somewhere getting a recording of George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" routine. It was a real Beavis and Butthead moment for him: "he said shit, heh, heh." As I grew older, I came to appreciate George Carlin's wit and sense of absurdity even more than his pottymouth. It saddened me to hear of his sudden death this weekend. He managed to skewer the minor irritations of life as adeptly as the major contradictions of humanity, and that's quite a talent.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?