Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A public service for fellow knitting designers

Having trouble writing those pesky pattern descriptions that appear at the beginning of your designs? Avail yourself of the Go Knit In Your Hat Pattern Description Generator. Just select one of the choices for each blank, and presto! Your introduction is written, ready for inclusion in the knitting magazine or book of your choice. No need to thank me; it's what I do.

Pattern Description Generator (circle one choice for each blank):

Inspired by __________________________,

  1. my extensive collection of vintage knitting patterns
  2. a day among the flowers in my country garden
  3. the delicate strains of a Bach cello concerto
  4. a tattered scrap of my daughter's childhood security blanket
  5. the colors and textures I see at my local flea market

this ______________________

  1. sweater
  2. sock
  3. hat
  4. shawl
  5. accessory

features __________________________________________.

  1. flowing lines and a comfortable fit
  2. a sleek, body-hugging fit
  3. a roomy but not oversized fit
  4. versatile, one-size-fits-most sizing.

It’s perfect for wearing _______________________________.

  1. on that special first date with someone new
  2. while sipping cocoa by the fireplace with a purring cat on your lap
  3. around town whilst doing Saturday errands
  4. to the office, and then out for drinks afterward
  5. to lift your spirits on a dreary, rainy day

Knit in a ________________________________

  1. cozy, toasty-warm
  2. slinky, shiny
  3. nubby-textured
  4. cool and breathable
  5. fuzzy and snuggly
  6. easy, breezy

yarn made of

  1. wool
  2. cotton
  3. silk
  4. linen
  5. bamboo
  6. a versatile blend

you’ll find _______________________________

  1. it knits up in a jiffy!
  2. it a challenging knit but well worth the extra effort!
  3. an excellent first garment for a newbie knitter!
  4. it’s as fun to wear as it is to knit!

If only doing multiple sizing were so easy!

Update: The merino/tencel sock yarn looks great (so does the superwash merino). There may still be a skein or two left...


Marin (AntiM) said...

I am SO glad you can't hear what I'm thinking so you don't know how I rewrote your slightly spooftastic fill-in-the-blank with more than its fair share of tattoos and inhuman anatomy.

It made me giggle a little, though -- it reminds me of how every single musician ever to be interviewed says he/she was greatly influenced by Velvet Underground... because that's what you're SUPPOSED to say.

And sports cliches! It reminds me of sports cliches!

I'm very happy right now. Thank you.

Big Alice said...

Heh. I've been reading too many yarn catalogs lately, and all I can say is someone stole your pattern-descripto-meter.
When you finish a plug-in sizing chart, would you send me a copy?

Unknown said...

Having had to write dozens of these freakin' descriptions and also having read my fair share, your Mad Libs generic version had me chortling (yes, chortling) at work.

subliminalrabbit said...

oh! this is great! cracked me up.

Anonymous said...

I particularly like the use of the word "whilst." Gives it that special something.

Also, I wish everyone did the "feature----." Or used pictures that actually agree with the description of the fit. But that's a current pet peeve, no more.

Knit Wit said...

oh I am stuck in finishing a pattern design hell, and this was perfect timing! Too funny :)

Unknown said...

That was perfect! I needed the giggles on this dreary day.

There must be the same sort of generator for back-of-book descriptions, don't you think? If one more book is described as being filled with "luminous prose," I'll barf!

Anonymous said...

i'm a yarn shop called Yorkshire Yarns. i support independent designers and i LOVE what you've done here w/the pattern generator. you go, girl.

Mel said...

I was thinking a proper Mad Libs style intro would work well, too. It would certainly lead to some veeeeerrrry interesting descriptives if were more freeform.

Lisa said...

gosh, now I just have to go through the pesky trouble of designing something. Is there a plug-in generator for the design impaired?

Unknown said...

Now you need to have a contest for the best Knit Libs, no? I'd be happy to contribute something unprintable. Heh. I lerves you, baby. You made my day.

Unknown said...

you forgot "my cat" for the first blank.

Anonymous said...

Too perfect.

Patricia said...

At Stitches, will you be at a particular booth? I'd like to pop by and say hello.


Anonymous said...

You're not jaded, are you?

Em said...

That is too funny! Well played.

Ruinwen Dagorielle said...

Thanks for a good laugh. :)

Theresa said...

Love it!

Kristin Nicholas said...

Perhaps you were a realtor in a past life. Very cute - it is such a stretch sometimes, you know.